JEWELRY

morning

The weekend is over and I am tired, but in a happy way. Family events, a visit from my daughter, Father’s Day.

You forget, when you get so busy and crazy and all you do is do, how important it is to stop and just be. And to share that being with other people.
I saw my friend, a woman who is 83, for the first time in a few months. And
I felt guilty because I should make more of an effort to see her, far more often. I know this, and still, I let that time slip by once again.

My daughter and I went to the beach, just for a few hours, but it was wonderful. It was a very hot day, but perfect near the water. A cooling breeze, kids playing in the sand, we read our books and just relaxed, with nothing more to do than eat chips and salsa.

Now, this morning, the first day of Summer, I think about how this year has been a journey of new things for me, and of old things, reawakening. The biggest of all these things has been connections. Discovering, for the first time in my life really, that perhaps I am a people person. Maybe I always was and never knew it, or maybe I wasn’t and have grown enough to make it so. Or maybe it happens naturally, to everyone, as they age. I don’t have the answer as to why, I just know that I am enjoying it. I am reaching out, further and further, in ways I had never dreamed of.

And the writing, the constant writing, is a reawakening I hadn’t expected. A reawakening that now seems vital. It doesn’t feel like work, even when I labor for an hour over a paragraph. It feel like something I should be doing. It feels right, and it feels like I have always known that it was right, but for some reason never did anything about it. I am me, more than at any other time, when I write. Is that weird? It feels weird to say it.

And the pictures, too. Time goes by when I am working on an image, and I don’t even notice. I look up and I say, “Oh my goodness, where did that hour, or those two hours, go?” But it’s a good thing, to lose time in that way. Certainly it’s better than losing it to the vacuum cleaner.

Something is growing inside of me. Something that has been quiet for a long time. I didn’t notice how quiet it had been until it started making noise again. But it is here now, in my face, and this time, I’m paying attention.

I feel like it’s the right time. I feel like me. I feel strong, and centered.

There are days when I feel stressed and crazy and pulled in a dozen directions all at once. Those days aren’t going to go away anytime soon. I have, in fact, bitten off more than I can chew.

But even on those days, I feel a shift in my perspective.

I feel alive.

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Comments
  • Megan June 21, 2010 at 10:20 am

    Beautiful as always 🙂

  • Deetz June 21, 2010 at 11:13 am

    We are so glad you’ve found your writing again, Kelly..it’s you–your inner person and she is coming out more beautiful than ever. Your father and I love you so much and are so very proud of you.

  • Marcie June 21, 2010 at 3:38 pm

    We are so on this same path and journey together. Couldn’t have said it better..if I’d said this about myself. You write beautifully..truly inspiring!!!

  • kim klassen June 21, 2010 at 5:25 pm

    i heart you… truly!!

    love…xxo, kim

  • fourdaysaweek June 21, 2010 at 6:13 pm

    Kelly, it’s a great journey you are on, and I love it that you feel alive from it. -Mia

  • wholly jeanne June 23, 2010 at 5:08 pm

    i love that feeling. am hereby declaring that i’m going after it more often. you’re right: it is being alive. it is a fine way to live. (ahem – now that your desk is cleared off.)

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the original work of Kelly Letky, unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved.
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