signals
I am in my studio and it is late, so late that I should be in bed, actually, but I am here, writing words that were waiting to be written. I sit here and see a firefly out of the corner of my eye, just outside my window. A single firefly, on its own, and I wonder what that means, what it is trying to say to me as it flits so close to my window like my own private beacon.
Perhaps I am reading too much into it, and it is just there, doing what a firefly does. But it doesn’t feel that way, it feels like it is there for a reason. And now it has landed, just sitting there in one spot, blinking. Does that mean it’s dying? Or is it calling for a mate, playing a game of S.O.S.? I don’t usually see them so close to the house, but the field out back is lit up like an upside-down starry sky on nights like this. Is this one lost?
If I were a child I would go outside and catch it in a jar, but I don’t want to catch it now, I want it to fly free, and I don’t want it to be dying, I want it to be wondering, sitting there looking in at me sitting here in the dark, if I am writing words about it. I want it to be the spirit of someone I loved, or someone that loved me, or someone that loved anybody, once, sitting there enjoying life, now, as a firefly. I want it to mean more than just an insect sitting on a leaf, and I don’t know what that means, either.
It is easy to see why years and years ago, people thought they were faeries.
At our camp, this past weekend, they were everywhere, more of them than I have ever seen before, and it was beautiful. I was entranced, and I was enchanted, I kept walking out to the road to watch them dance in the field across the way. I don’t remember ever having seen so many at one time.
And I don’t remember ever having seen just one, sitting by itself outside
my window. But I love that it is there. Meaning whatever it means,
or doesn’t mean.
It’s still a light shining bright in the night.
And I am not afraid of the dark.
Comments
Beautiful as always.
Posted by: Deetz | June 23rd, 2010 07:41
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Posted by: Tweets that mention http://www.thebluemuse.com/?p=1592utm_sourcepingback -- Topsy.com | June 23rd, 2010 07:59
Something about seeing ourselves in those fireflies..and just wanting to be free!! Beautiful- as always!!!!
Posted by: Marcie | June 23rd, 2010 13:03
Such a beautifully processed image.
Posted by: Frida | June 23rd, 2010 16:46
Such a beautifully processed image. I love it!
Posted by: Frida | June 23rd, 2010 16:47
you were looking in the mirror, thelma juice. it’s as simple as that. nature mirroring back to you, reminding you that you are a beacon, a bright self-generating light in the darkness. at least that’s what you are to me.
Posted by: wholly jeanne | June 23rd, 2010 16:58
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Posted by: Tweets that mention http://www.thebluemuse.com/?cpage=1&p=1592#comment-611?utm_source=pingback -- Topsy.com | June 23rd, 2010 17:05
perhaps it was flirting, winking, inviting you out to dance. yep. i think so. a firefly is a rare sight around here anymore – when i was a kid they were everywhere. i remember once someone telling me where they’d gone, but now i forget. a goal i set for myself: a journey to the land of fireflies. i’ll pick you up as i come by.
xoxo
Posted by: Debi | June 23rd, 2010 18:18
Blink. Blink. Blink.
We don’t get many (actually any) fireflies here. But I am now remembering what they look like…
Posted by: Tracy | June 30th, 2010 21:55
What a beautiful post! thank you for commenting and stopping by.I am so glad you shared this link with me – this was wonderful to read. thank you! ♥
Posted by: ivyallover | July 1st, 2010 06:35