JEWELRY

losing my voice

It wasn’t until I recently entered the land of blog that I realized how much I’ve missed writing.

I’ve never written professionally, but from the age of thirteen until fairly recently, I had always  carried on a sort of behind-the-scenes, clandestine love affair with writing, whether it was poetry, or journals, or the many stalled beginnings of the novel that I’m sure must be lurking somewhere inside me…

Well, okay, that hasn’t happened (yet!) but poetry and journals were always part of my life, part of me. But then I stopped. Life gets in the way, sometimes, of things that deep down are important to us. We set them aside thinking: someday I will come back to this, I will have time to write, to paint, to create. And during this time I was creating, designing, making jewelry. But I wasn’t writing.

But suddenly, here I am and it feels like this, now, is finally the time to find my voice. It doesn’t have to be perfect, it doesn’t have to be loud, it doesn’t have to be heard by the entire world. It just has to sing whatever song it has come here to sing.

And while I don’t yet know the name of that tune, it is something I have been quietly humming to myself for quite a while. And it’s time for me to stop and listen to that tiny little voice as it struggles to make itself heard.

Because it keeps right on humming when we say we don’t have time, we are too busy, we aren’t inspired, we aren’t good enough. It holds its little hands over its ears and does that annoying little lalalalala thing, until finally, we get frustrated enough to stop making excuses and listen.

Well, here I am, listening. Really, really listening this time. Because after 47 years I have finally figured out that someday never comes. You can spend your whole life waiting and it won’t show up. Ever. The only time we have is right here, right now. This day.

And the song we sing each day shows the world who we are. Sometimes we are out of tune. Sometimes we are too loud. Sometimes too slow, too corny, too emotional. Sometimes we forget the words.

But always, we are making music.

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Comments
  • Toni March 1, 2010 at 2:26 am

    hello there! i wanted to thank you for visiting my blog. your blog and photos are beautiful! so is your jewelry! from reading a few of your posts i see that you are fairly new to “blog land” 🙂 welcome! after 4 plus years of blogging myself i have been truly amazed at the generosity, love, and sincerity that flourishes here.

    • the blue muse March 1, 2010 at 8:43 am

      thank you so much…I really love your one hundred photos idea and if I can find time I may join in on your flickr site.
      Yes, I am already amazed at this “community,” and so glad to be joining it.

  • kendalee March 5, 2010 at 3:09 am

    Aah, a kindred spirit! I wonder why it takes some of us until we reach out forties to figure this out? But, better now than never… Here’s to making our music, singing, or humming our little song every day 🙂

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